The Pursuit of "Happyness"

I used to have a plaque in our bathroom that I would read every day that went something like this...."Happiness does not depend on what happens on the outside of you, but on what happens on the inside." For a long time I believed that, but couldn't seem to make it work in my life. The things that happened on a day to day basis always seemed to affect my well-being and I couldn't really say that I felt "happy" a lot of the time. Of course, I had my moments of joy and peace and contentment, but I couldn't seem to make them stay very long. When the next crisis came along, or disappointment, or even conflicts in our home happened, I would be struggling to keep my "happyness" intact.

Lately, I have noticed that I feel happy most of the time! My 'happyness" quota is increasing! I have tried to analyze why that is, what has happened to change me from the inside out. I have come to a few conclusions:

• My health is improving from what it has been for the past few years. I guess I attribute that to the month or so that I was in the hospital and recovering....every gain is a plus. I appreciate even one little sign of improvement. For this I am truly grateful.
• I am only working part time which gives me less money, but so much more important, it gives me more time to do the things that make my life meaningful. Things like, organizing my home more ("my house is a house of order" said the Lord.); reading good books (including scripture study); listening to good music that lifts my soul; playing & singing music again, something I have put aside for a while; talking to, thinking about, and praying about the people that are important to me; listening to Conference talks to and from work; appreciating the beauty of nature and the changing of the seasons; beginning to work on my geneology.
• I am also learning about spiritual things through the spirit as I prepare more diligently for my Relief Society lessons. I am uncovering the depth of my testimony and what it takes to nurture and expand it. I am pondering more the lives of good people that I know and am trying to be more like them including my husband, my children, people in the ward, friends, President Hinckley, and most importantly, Jesus Christ.

I am finding that "happyness" comes from inside, and that it may sneak up on you when you least expect. it! Anna told me the other day that "it's okay to feel happy, Mom." I guess I was feeling odd that I hadn't really felt it for so long. I think I am learning the secret of happiness, though I'm not sure if I can articulate it yet. I just know that it is like a compass, and I am trying to keep my needle pointed to the true north where it is strongest. I guess I am learning what makes my needle get off course, and I want to keep it steady.

I hope for all of you, that your "happyness" quota is increasing daily and that you find out what you need to do to keep your needle pointed in the right direction! Have a happy day!